Post by Deleted on Jan 11, 2015 18:19:07 GMT -5
SULLIVAN A. DUFFY
TWENTY-TWO - UNEMPLOYED - VISITOR - EMILIA CLARKE
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Dear everyone back home,
First thing's first I want to give you guys a bit of an explanation for all of my recent actions, so here it goes.
"Sullivan Allan Duffy."
"Present."
"Haha real funny, now please stop joking around young lady."
"I'm not 'joking around' that's my name."
"Young lady don't get snippy with me and stop playing games. Is Sullivan present today, anyone else?"
This is my entire damned life summed up for you. People always seem to expect me to be a man because of my name. Sullivan Allan. The story of my name? Well, let's just say my parents really wanted a boy. So much so that they hadn't even considered choosing a name if I were to be a girl. Of course they also wanted the gender to be a surprise, fingers crossed as they awaited my arrival. And guess what? I was just another damned disappointment. I mean, I'm sure they were happy when I was born, but there just always seemed to be a lingering air of sadness after my birth. After me, they had decided to have another child. This time it was a boy. And then they adopted 3 more. All boys. So even though I'm sure they loved me and all, I was always sort of a disappointment. It's not that that bothers me, though. It really doesn't.
I grew up with 4 brothers in a middle-class household in a smaller town in Ireland. My family was just average, nothing outstanding really. I mean, I don't think so at least. My parents fought sometimes. My father yelled at us a lot, especially when he was mad and wouldn't let us say a word with yelling even more. Lately I've kind of been wondering if that could be considered verbal or emotional abuse? The thing is, it just wasn't where I ever belonged. I never felt like I was supposed to be there. I just blended into the group, I was just another girl walking down the street in a place where my heart didn't belong. Life was just so bland and monotonous. I got to a point where I looked in the mirror at myself for a long time and just questioned, 'Is this how it's going to be for the rest of my life?' My life was just a big loop of the same sequence and anything that did happen to change it up never lasted long. I just fell into a deep state of depression.
I really caved into it and well, let's just say I dealt with it in a really unhealthy way. I survived though. I made it all the way through high school, working as much as I could after school and on the weekends and saving up. After graduating, I continued to work 3 different jobs and continued to save up. All of that has lead up to now, the day that I'm leaving this place. I'm off to bigger and better places, I'm off to find my place in this world. After a lot of research and digging around I've decided New York is the place for me to find myself. I'm not off searching for love. I'm not looking for a new life. I'm just looking for a place where I feel like I better belong, a better place to die. I really am content with my family and life and such, I just didn't feel like I belonged. I hope you all understand and forgive me for such an abrupt departure, but I didn't want to worry or make anyone sad. I'll still call and write, or maybe just write. We'll see. So long for now, I'll remember you all and maybe return one day.
Love,
Sully
First thing's first I want to give you guys a bit of an explanation for all of my recent actions, so here it goes.
"Sullivan Allan Duffy."
"Present."
"Haha real funny, now please stop joking around young lady."
"I'm not 'joking around' that's my name."
"Young lady don't get snippy with me and stop playing games. Is Sullivan present today, anyone else?"
This is my entire damned life summed up for you. People always seem to expect me to be a man because of my name. Sullivan Allan. The story of my name? Well, let's just say my parents really wanted a boy. So much so that they hadn't even considered choosing a name if I were to be a girl. Of course they also wanted the gender to be a surprise, fingers crossed as they awaited my arrival. And guess what? I was just another damned disappointment. I mean, I'm sure they were happy when I was born, but there just always seemed to be a lingering air of sadness after my birth. After me, they had decided to have another child. This time it was a boy. And then they adopted 3 more. All boys. So even though I'm sure they loved me and all, I was always sort of a disappointment. It's not that that bothers me, though. It really doesn't.
I grew up with 4 brothers in a middle-class household in a smaller town in Ireland. My family was just average, nothing outstanding really. I mean, I don't think so at least. My parents fought sometimes. My father yelled at us a lot, especially when he was mad and wouldn't let us say a word with yelling even more. Lately I've kind of been wondering if that could be considered verbal or emotional abuse? The thing is, it just wasn't where I ever belonged. I never felt like I was supposed to be there. I just blended into the group, I was just another girl walking down the street in a place where my heart didn't belong. Life was just so bland and monotonous. I got to a point where I looked in the mirror at myself for a long time and just questioned, 'Is this how it's going to be for the rest of my life?' My life was just a big loop of the same sequence and anything that did happen to change it up never lasted long. I just fell into a deep state of depression.
I really caved into it and well, let's just say I dealt with it in a really unhealthy way. I survived though. I made it all the way through high school, working as much as I could after school and on the weekends and saving up. After graduating, I continued to work 3 different jobs and continued to save up. All of that has lead up to now, the day that I'm leaving this place. I'm off to bigger and better places, I'm off to find my place in this world. After a lot of research and digging around I've decided New York is the place for me to find myself. I'm not off searching for love. I'm not looking for a new life. I'm just looking for a place where I feel like I better belong, a better place to die. I really am content with my family and life and such, I just didn't feel like I belonged. I hope you all understand and forgive me for such an abrupt departure, but I didn't want to worry or make anyone sad. I'll still call and write, or maybe just write. We'll see. So long for now, I'll remember you all and maybe return one day.
Love,
Sully
DEADLY - CENTRAL - MATHIAS & MISCHA
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