Post by Deleted on Jan 31, 2015 21:20:58 GMT -5
[attr="class","apphover"]
[attr="class","appnamebit"]
TALIA JUDE FORRESTER
[attr="class","apphoverbox"]"s
"now miss forrester, everything you say can and will be used in a court of law. please introduce yourself for the record."
i feel like this is a total misunderstanding. i didn't mean to do anything, it's not my fault at all. but whatever, i'll play by your rules, po po. oh god, i just said po po what the heck is wrong with me. stop looking at me like that i'm getting to the introduction.
my name is talia jude forrester, some people call me tj but given the look you're given me you're not one of those people. i'm twenty-four years young and moved to new york when i was nineteen from my hometown in chicago. i'm a waitress and only drop plates like once a week now so that's improvement. my mom is a megabitch who i haven't talked to in fourteen years and i have no idea who my dad is, even my birth certificate doesn't have a name.
oh! i also have a wee little bulldog puppy named oreo who is a little sweetheart. i have some pictures if you just give me my phone i can show you!
"i don't need to see pictures of your dog, miss forrester."
talia, please. miss forrester is someone i don't know because forrester was a name i made mine legally when i was eighteen because my maiden name sucked balls. seriously, it was asspert.that hasassin it. also my mom was a bitch so i didn't really want her name with mine. oh, what did you want to ask?
"thank you that was very...insightful. now before we go into your..colourful history, is there anything else you want to tell me?"
hmm, well for one, i'm not a fan of the idea of you wearing white socks with your shoes. i mean your entire outfit is dark navy and your shoes are black, what went wrong and made you think "hey, white socks, that'll work?" did you get dropped on your head as a baby? your head looks fine, i mean, you have nice hair and a nice bone structure so if you try a little more i'm sure that you can find a really nice lady or dude, whatever floats your boat, but the white socks have gotta go. also you could do with a little color, maybe try and get outside a bit more? aw, you don't have to thank me, you're welcome!
what else...well i once ate a taco that was made of dolphin when i went to miami and then i cried because i ate dolphin and how terrible is that? i then went vegetarian for like three days before i made bacon and decided that i had already sacrificed enough for that dolphin.
miami. is that at the time of the...incident written here that occurred six years ago?"
you've got that written down? awesome. i wasn't sure if the officer was planning to write it down because his eye got really twitchy when i was talking with him. i think he cried a bit after because his face was all red when i left.
i can explain about the incident! my lock picking skills were really important back in chicago, especially as a kid. so when i went to miami, someone who had heard of me wanted me to prove that i was just that good. i hadn't really planned on doing it but he kept insisting i wasn't as good as i thought i was - which, by the way, is a total lie - so i had to show him how it was done. he wasn't going to let me do just any old door to make it interesting, so he dared me to open the lion's cage at the zoo. so i did. that's it, i put the lock right back on afterwards but a zookeeper heard me and came to investigate and it became a big issue that it should have been.
also i then picked my way out of the handcuffs three times just as a matter of principle and to prove my point that i am good at that sort of thing.
"...right. now, let's focus on your history here.
i feel like this is a total misunderstanding. i didn't mean to do anything, it's not my fault at all. but whatever, i'll play by your rules, po po. oh god, i just said po po what the heck is wrong with me. stop looking at me like that i'm getting to the introduction.
my name is talia jude forrester, some people call me tj but given the look you're given me you're not one of those people. i'm twenty-four years young and moved to new york when i was nineteen from my hometown in chicago. i'm a waitress and only drop plates like once a week now so that's improvement. my mom is a megabitch who i haven't talked to in fourteen years and i have no idea who my dad is, even my birth certificate doesn't have a name.
oh! i also have a wee little bulldog puppy named oreo who is a little sweetheart. i have some pictures if you just give me my phone i can show you!
"i don't need to see pictures of your dog, miss forrester."
talia, please. miss forrester is someone i don't know because forrester was a name i made mine legally when i was eighteen because my maiden name sucked balls. seriously, it was asspert.that hasassin it. also my mom was a bitch so i didn't really want her name with mine. oh, what did you want to ask?
"thank you that was very...insightful. now before we go into your..colourful history, is there anything else you want to tell me?"
hmm, well for one, i'm not a fan of the idea of you wearing white socks with your shoes. i mean your entire outfit is dark navy and your shoes are black, what went wrong and made you think "hey, white socks, that'll work?" did you get dropped on your head as a baby? your head looks fine, i mean, you have nice hair and a nice bone structure so if you try a little more i'm sure that you can find a really nice lady or dude, whatever floats your boat, but the white socks have gotta go. also you could do with a little color, maybe try and get outside a bit more? aw, you don't have to thank me, you're welcome!
what else...well i once ate a taco that was made of dolphin when i went to miami and then i cried because i ate dolphin and how terrible is that? i then went vegetarian for like three days before i made bacon and decided that i had already sacrificed enough for that dolphin.
miami. is that at the time of the...incident written here that occurred six years ago?"
you've got that written down? awesome. i wasn't sure if the officer was planning to write it down because his eye got really twitchy when i was talking with him. i think he cried a bit after because his face was all red when i left.
i can explain about the incident! my lock picking skills were really important back in chicago, especially as a kid. so when i went to miami, someone who had heard of me wanted me to prove that i was just that good. i hadn't really planned on doing it but he kept insisting i wasn't as good as i thought i was - which, by the way, is a total lie - so i had to show him how it was done. he wasn't going to let me do just any old door to make it interesting, so he dared me to open the lion's cage at the zoo. so i did. that's it, i put the lock right back on afterwards but a zookeeper heard me and came to investigate and it became a big issue that it should have been.
also i then picked my way out of the handcuffs three times just as a matter of principle and to prove my point that i am good at that sort of thing.
"...right. now, let's focus on your history here.
ANALEIGH TIPTON - LOCAL - WRITTEN BY CACE