don't stop now [christian]

Why did he take this class? He should have listened to Daddy. Daddy was always right. But his sister and his mother had both encouraged him to try doing something that was out of his comfort zone and after the little breakdown he'd had in his old school, the breakdown that had caused the Sherwood family to move here in the first place, Daddy hadn't said anything to stop him and since Hayden had a very difficult time telling people no, he'd agreed to taking a drama class. Just a few years ago, the blue-eyed boy wouldn't have minded. He'd always enjoyed acting and he was decent at it, too! But now... now he had no confidence. Even horseback riding these days was difficult. He was always questioning himself and Killer, his mare, could sense it and she ended up losing her confidence. He barely did jumping anymore, too afraid that he would end up getting hurt, or that Killer would get hurt, and Killer was getting antsy. She was an eventing horse - cross country was her favorite. She loved to run and jump and Hayden loved it, too, but there was another reason why he didn't do too much more than flat work these days. He was simply too tired, his body running on little to no food and very little sleep. If it wasn't the nightmares keeping him up... it was his own father... just making sure his little boy was settling in alright in their new town.

The teacher setting down a small packet had Hayden flinching away, lifting his hands to cover his face, body tensing and his eyes clenching shut. The teacher didn't notice, just went on talking about the assignment they were going to have to do. A group assignment. The class would have to work in pairs. His empty stomach churned and he was very glad he had decided to skip breakfast again today because he surely would have vomited from the anxiousness building. His heart was already hammering against the walls of his chest as he slowly uncovered his face, touching the packet, glancing down at it slowly. The teacher continued to talk, saying that the pairs would have two weeks to memorize lines and then perform than in front of the class, and Hayden was seriously considering dropping the class or finding some way out of the assignment but it was already too late. The teacher was calling out the pairs. He heard his own name and then the name Christian Lane. His stomach dropped, face growing pale, and the seventeen year old attempt to sink into his seat, eyes closing again, feeling rather light headed. He had noticed Christian when attendance was taken. It was a guy. A senior.

The teacher sat down at their desk with one final command: the pairs were to spend the rest of the class period running lines. The students all started talking, moving to get together with their partners, but Hayden didn't move. He couldn't. He was surprised he even remembered how to breathe.

ooc: outfit
christian oscar lane

He listened eagerly to find out who the teacher had partnered him with - group tasks always got him pumped and excited. He liked it when they were put into groups to work on a short play or some different techniques, it was fun and he saw it as a great way to better his skills. Also people, he liked people. If he had to be honest he was a little disappointed that they were only being paired up as opposed to being in a group of at least four, but hey it was a chance for him to hopefully get to know someone in the class that he didn't already know - though he'd worked with most of them already because he was always so willing to do all the things. Maybe that was why the teacher put him with the new kid? The moment that his name had been said alongside that of the new kid a smile came to his lips and he turned his head to look at said person, Hayden Sherwood. He waited and listened to the instruction and tips that the teacher had to say up until the moment that she told them that the rest of the class was to be spent with this new partner of his, running lines and such. Everyone was fairly quick to get up and move about, finding their partner and settling in one place of another to start on their lines - though she was sure that that pair over there were just talking about crap that had nothing to do with the class or the lines that they were supposed to be doing. But he could ignore that, it didn't bother nor affect him. He looked around the room, searching for Hayden only to see him still sitting at his desk, the guy hadn't moved. Christian simply shrugged it off and made his way over to him, a smile plastered on his face.

He stopped in front of the other guy's desk. "Hi." He said, his tone chirpy. "You're Hayden right? I mean of course you are, I haven't seen you around so that means you're the new kid. Sorry, I'm just excited about this." Maybe he talked too much at times, but an excited Christian was a talkative one and well he was excited to get to know the new kid. "I'm Christian, but you probably already figured that out." He put his hands in his pockets and rocked gently back and forth on his feet, now hoping that the new kid didn't think he was weird or anything. Though really he didn't care what he thought (no really he did), it wouldn't bother him much at all. After a few moments he thought it best if he sat down, so he moved around the desks and took the one next to Hayden, opening up the packet that the teacher had given him and skimming over the first page of information. Turning to his new partner he spoke. "So, do you want to be guy one or guy two?" It was a very important question and would define everything for their next two weeks, okay so maybe not but it was an important questions, they needed to know who was going to read what part.

tagged - hayden chrystian sherwood // words - 547 // notes - /bounces.

The room seemed extra loud as everyone moved around, chatting with their partners and friends, laughing with one another, telling jokes and enjoying themselves. He could hear some students complaining about the project and, had he any confidence, he would have been one of them, probably. Or maybe he would have been excited to work with someone. He'd always been shy but he'd been excited to make new friends when he was younger. It had always been difficult for him to make friends with guys, especially at his high school, but girls were usually happy enough to hang out with him. It didn't help the gay rumors but maybe this school would be different. Maybe no one would say anything. Maybe he could be a good boy again and Daddy wouldn't be mad at him for making the family move. Maybe he could make everything better. He just had to get through this project and explain to his father that he hadn't been able to pick his partner. Maybe his father could get his teacher to switch his partner to a girl, make up some sort of excuse. He couldn't just come right out and say he didn't want his son getting close to the other boys in school. That would be too obvious and they weren't in their little, tight knit community anymore. Maybe that meant he was stuck with this Christian kid as a partner. Great, just great. What if he wanted a handshake or a hug? His stomach lurched uneasily, blue eyes staring down at the packet on his desk, worrying his lower lip with his teeth.

When Christian finally came over, Hayden tensed right away, actually holding his breath for a second before letting the air out of his lungs slowly, trying not to make it obvious. "Hi." He tried to reply, he really did, but all he could manage was a soft noise, almost like a squeak, which had his cheeks turning pink. "You're Hayden right? I mean of course you are, I haven't seen you around so that means you're the new kid. Sorry, I'm just excited about this." The new kid... it was a foreign title to the seventeen year old. For his whole life up until now, he had been surrounded by the same people day after day. His family, the church, and the private school that was run by the church. He really never left the community except to go to the barn and even then he had stopped hanging out with the girls at the barn. "H-hi," he managed to say, his voice soft, almost... childlike, in a way. "I'm Christian, but you probably already figured that out." Even the smallest movements, like Christian putting his hands in his pockets and rocking on his feet, had Hayden's breath catching, body flinching subtly, fully expecting a hand to reach out and grab him or hit him. He didn't have any bruises on his body at the moment but it was only a matter of time... the question was who would get to him first? School bullies? Or his own father?

There was a silence that grew between them, making the younger of the two worried, his breathing irregular though he was doing his best to keep it under control. He didn't want to have the school asking his family questions. He didn't think his father would let him get away with messing things up that bad again... Don't let him touch you! The thought was immediate when Christian came to sit beside him, his thin body jerking to the side with a sharp inhale of breath, arm taking the familiar position of wrapping around his body, tightening to the point that it was almost painful. It comforted him in some weird way. It made him feel... protected? Safe? He wasn't sure, but it helped, and it was the only way to stop himself from panicking. He couldn't very well binge and purge or cut in the middle of class, now, could he? "So, do you want to be guy one or guy two?" Guy one? Guy two? Wide, blue eyes blinked, never leaving the paper packet as they filled with tears, the fact that he had to make a decision for himself making him shudder. Hayden rarely ever made decisions for himself anymore. He wasn't allowed. "I..." he trailed off, unsure of what to say. "Y-you should pick. You're, um, older. It's only fair," he said, before, without him noticing, he added on a softly whispered, "Please."

ooc: outfit
christian oscar lane

Ever since he was young he'd been a people person, he had played with the other children in daycare and then in preschool and then even more so when he hit elementary school. He loved being around other kids, sometimes he had even liked being around the adults - that was until it appeared that he wasn't the same as his two older brothers, when he said that he didn't like football and started his father's dislike of him. So maybe his father didn't dislike him so much as just be disappointed in him and his choices, but that was just as bad and Christian was not a fan of the way he was treated by the man now. He was well aware that there were kids out there who were treated a lot worse than he was by the same figure in their lives but that didn't make it any better. Since that man had started with his disappointment, Christian had drifted away from his family, sometimes he felt like he didn't even belong in it. But then his brother would remind him that he more than definitely was a part of the Lane family and that no matter what happened or how his father felt, he would always be a part of his family. He loved his brother a lot, well at least that one particular one. That brother was one of the few people in existence that knew his secret, it wasn't something that he talked about unless someone talked to him about it first, and even then he would deny and deny until he could do no more of the thing and he'd just give in and admit. That was how it was with his brother, he knew and he asked him about it and when he couldn't deny any more Christian admitted it and was certain that the guy would judge and be a jerk but instead he told him that it didn't matter and that he loved him and accepted him no matter what. He also said that he wouldn't tell their dad and that was the most important thing.

He couldn't help but notice that Hayden looked a lot uncomfortable, like he was scared maybe? Even so, he didn't make any moves to ask about it, or even to mention it. He wasn't the biggest fan of people prying into why he did the things he did so there was no way in hell that he was about to do that to anyone else, especially someone that he didn't know, at all. Though he was curious and maybe one day he'd ask, but today was not that day and nor was tomorrow or the next. Really that day would probably never come. "I'm older? Am I?" He didn't know how old Hayden was, though he was aware that he didn't seem to be in any of his other classes, not did he seem to know anyone else in the class - maybe he was a junior that was taking a senior class for one reason or another? It didn't matter. "But okay." He took note that his partner had added please to his words, that was strange right? "You can be guy one because," he paused for a moment, "because I don't know. Just because." He had no reasoning behind the decision, he didn't even know anything about guy one or guy two, he hadn't looked that far ahead in the information. 

With Christian being the person he was it somewhat bugged him that he knew nothing about this new kid. He wanted to know things about him, even just the simple basic things like where he moved from, one little thing that he liked and whether or not he knew how to move from the position he was in - that last one was something that he'd need to do if he were to succeed in drama class. Christian wanted to start conversation, but really he wasn't sure what to say to the boy, he didn't want him to squeal and run away - which was what he assumed would happen if he said the wrong thing, but he hoped that was just a stupid thought. "So, Hayden." He began. "Where did you move from?" It was a simple question really and he hoped that it wouldn't be thought of as him prying into Hayden's life. 

tagged - hayden chrystian sherwood // words - 730 // notes - /bounces.

What was he supposed to say? Was he supposed to introduce himself? They'd kind of already done that, or rather, had the teacher do that for him. And apparently it was obvious that he was new. Did everyone know he was new? What were they all thinking? Did they think he was stupid? He wasn't stupid! He had really good grades! He'd always had good grades. Then again, when all you did was study, good grades were bound to happen. That's really all Hayden ddi these days. Study, study, study. Biting his lip, he unwrapped an arm from around himself to reach for the packet, struggling to keep his breathing even, opening it and staring down at the lines he had to memorize. That normally wouldn't be difficult, Hayden had a fantastic memory. He supposed years spent memorizing jumping courses help with that... or maybe it was memorizing the calories of every single item in his kitchen. I'm supposed to help with the food shopping this weekend... he thought, a flicker of food related anxiety and fear mixing with his social anxiety and fear. It would probably be best not to think of the impending shopping trip too much.

"I'm older? Am I?" Oh no, had he made himself sound like a creep by knowing his age? He was just so used to trying to learn everything he could about someone without actually talking to them so that he knew who was dangerous and who wasn't though at this point, the teen pretty much categorized everyone as dangerous. "I'm seventeen," he said, his voice shaking, pretending to read the script while actually watching Christian from the corner of his eye, ready to run at the smallest hint of violence. "And... and I thought you were a senior. I'm sorry if I offended you, please don't be mad at me." Please don't hurt me. His experiences with others being mad at him weren't the best. When his father got mad at him, he got punished. When others got mad at him, he got yelled at. Or they told his father. And he was punished. Bad boys always got punished.

"But okay." His body visibly relaxed. It seemed that Christian was going to give him a role. "You can be guy one because," Slowly, a relieved smile spread across his lips and he sighed softly, sitting up straight in his seat, both arms now unwrapped from his body. He didn't feel like he had to hold himself together anymore, for now. "because I don't know. Just because." A quiet giggle released from his lips, a hand reaching up to cover his mouth, a blush spreading across his cheeks as he finally, finally, turned to look at Christian - without meeting his eyes, of course - but the blush just grew when he took in the brown curls and the friendly face and he was cute and - Look away. The smile faded quickly and he turned his eyes away, the look of fear back on his face as he returning his eyes to the script. "So, Hayden. Where did you move from?" The question startled him but he answered quickly. "North Carolina. Daddy moved us here because..." he paused, biting his lip. He couldn't say the real reason. "Um, for work."

ooc: outfit
christian oscar lane

He couldn't help but think about how uncomfortable Hayden looked. But still he kept his thoughts to himself, he wasn't going to do that, he was not going to say a single thing in reference to how he assumed that the other guy felt. "Oh, no, no, no, no, no offence was had. I am a senior, eighteen years old and not mad, at all. Why would I be mad at you? You didn't even do anything." That was a but weird, no? He was not used to people apologising for such a simple thing, especially when it was something that wasn't even something to get mad about - seriously if someone got mad about that then they definitely had some issues and needed to get them sorted the fuck out, as soon as possible. Christian definitely was feeling a lot of curiosity toward this new kid, though he was always curious about people he didn't know there was something more to this one. He had this need to know what had caused him to feel that way - was it something he did? No, it couldn't have been, he hadn't done anything to warrant such a response. Whatever it was he wanted to find out, without asking and that was going to prove to be very difficult.

He couldn't help but notice when the other guy seemed to relax, but again there was nothing that he was going to say on the subject because it just felt far too prying for his liking and he did not want to be known as that guy, ever. Christian took the next few moments to have a proper look at Hayden - because even though he had looked at him he hadn't really looked at him. He had to say that now the boy appeared a bit more relaxed he looked a lot better, because well no-one could look all that great while they appeared to be holding themselves together with their own arms wrapped around themselves. The new kid was cute, at least Christian thought so - he was sure that before long there would be girls all over him, or something like that anyway. But that was not something that he was going to admit, at least not at the moment. God forbid he mentioned it and a certain someone found out, that would not end badly, it seemed that no matter what or how careful he was his father found out everything. It was one of the things that he hated about the man, he was so sure that he had cameras everywhere. For now the fact that he thought that the new kid was attractive was something that he was going to keep to himself, he didn't want to scare the poor boy away or anything. In fact he wanted to to the complete opposite.

A smile formed on Christian's lips as the boy let out a small giggle. If that wasn't cute as fuck he didn't know what was. He mentally scolded himself though for thinking such a thing, but it wasn't like he thought it was bad, he just didn't want anyone to think that he swung that way, no-one was allowed to know - unless they already did because there wasn't much he could do about that. An eyebrow rose at the use of the word daddy. He had to admit, that was a little weird, what kind of seventeen year old referred to their father that way - he assumed that was who he was talking about, otherwise it would be a lot weirder. "North Carolina, never been there. Is it nice? But damn that sucks that you had to move because his work. What does he do? " He hoped that asking such a thing was okay, he liked to know things. "I hope you like it here, who am I kidding, you will like it here, I'll make sure of it." Would he really? How was he going to make sure this guy liked it in New York? He'd figure something out, or maybe he'd just made him feel all uncomfortable or something? Sometimes a person who talked a lot did that to someone, Christian had first hand experience there, but it didn't bother him all that much, what people thought of him didn't matter - unless they were providing him with a place to live, sleep, eat and all those things that are important in survival.

tagged - hayden chrystian sherwood // words - 737 // notes - /bounces.

Don't talk to him or look at him more than you have to. This was one of the many thoughts running through his mind as he sat there, his body tense, only taking little glances of Christian from the corner of his eye. He wanted to look at him, he really did, because Christian seemed nice and he had hair that was long and looked so soft. He wondered what color his eyes were, what he looked like when he smiled, but the more he wondered the sicker he felt because God could hear his thoughts and they were bad. Hayden knew that he was gay, had known for a very, very long time, and he hated it. He had tried to change himself, he even dated a girl last year, he prayed every night that God would change him, but maybe God was mad at himself because he never answered. Every morning, Hayden woke up the same, perhaps a little more broken than the day before. His father had once suggested finding a program that cured homosexuality and Hayden had begged him for it, had been a very good boy, but his father had changed his mind because putting Hayden in a program like that would mean everyone would know and it would disgrace the family and Rebecka, according to his father, did that enough. She was loud, rebellious, always doing her own thing... but at least she was straight. She wasn't sick and disgusting and ugly.

"Oh, no, no, no, no, no offence was had. I am a senior, eighteen years old and not mad, at all. Why would I be mad at you? You didn't even do anything." That was a thing about Hayden. He was always apologizing, always worried that he had made someone mad. People typically got annoyed with him and told him to shut up and stop apologizing, which only made him apologize more; it was a never ending cycle, really. "I'm sorry," he whispered, hanging his head. He could feel tears prickling at the corners of his eyes and he allowed himself a quiet sniffle, hoping Christian wouldn't say anything about it. As much as Hayden hated crying in front of others, sometimes he just couldn't help it. This was a new environment, his first time in a public school, with kids he didn't know. It was a bit much for someone like Hayden to handle, but he was trying. He had no choice.

Hayden was aware that boys his age didn't usually call their father's "Daddy," but it had just... become a thing for him. A coping mechanism, perhaps? Who knew. He was always more childish around his father, and in general, acting so young and innocent and naive, refusing to believe this his father was actually hurting him, abusing him. "North Carolina, never been there. Is it nice? But damn that sucks that you had to move because his work. What does he do?" The junior cringed and made a face when Christian cursed, wrinkling his nose but saying nothing. He was still doing his best to just breathe. "He's a youth pastor. And... and he does advertising for our old church. Um, he handles their... their social media pages?" His answer came out sounding more along the lines of a question, nervousness making his words squeaky.

"I hope you like it here, who am I kidding, you will like it here, I'll make sure of it." Was... that a command? "Okay," he said, sounding very unsure of himself, eyes slowly lifting to the clock near the teacher's desk. They still had a bit left of class. He felt awful, wishing for the class to end, but he just wanted to go home. However, he still had a few periods left to go through, including lunch and gym class, which was his last class of the day.

ooc: outfit
christian oscar lane

There was this urge, an urge to simply lean over and wrap the other guy in a tight yet comforting hug. But that wasn't going to happen, there were people around - plus he was sure that Hayden would reject such physical contact and it would all become a huge awkward mess. He didn't want a huge awkward mess, he didn't even want a regular sized awkward mess. He was not a fan of those, then again was anyone? Yes, some people were but Christian didn't know any of them and he was okay with that. "Don't apologise." His voice held a small amount of confusion, why was he apologising, there was no reason for it, did he feel like he'd done something wrong because Christian did not think that he did, but he didn't know what the other guy was thinking. He was fairly certain that the other was not okay, he didn't look okay, he looked sad (maybe, he wasn't sure). Whatever it was, he didn't look like he was feeling okay and Christian wanted to ask him about it, but he was continuing to resist that want as well, prying into such things was never a good idea he always thought. He didn't want people prying into his feelings and wellbeing and such - okay so maybe people prying into his wellbeing wasn't all so bad, that could be good when there was actually something wrong there. Perhaps Hayden was just having a hard tome adjusting to the new school, he had never experienced it himself but Christian was sure that coming to a new school in the middle of your high school schooling was a difficult thing, for anyone. Not knowing anyone and basically starting anew while having to figure out where you were in the subject matter and what not, it had to be hard and well he wasn't sure if he'd be able to do it, at least not without stressing to the max (even though he wasn't an overly stressful person).

The talk of dads caused a small bit of anger to prickle inside of him, but it wasn't enough to cause any kind of reaction, just enough for him to feel it and acknowledge it. He didn't hate his dad, not yet anyway, but he sure as hell didn't like him all that much. The man was a judgemental, selfish dick and only wanted what he wanted for his kids, it didn't matter if they didn't like football (or weren't built for it, like can you actually see this guy playing football?) or that they wanted to do something else, he would push for them to go in the direction that he wanted them too. Though Christian had managed to stay away from all the football related things that his dad had tried to push him into - which of cause just made his dad pissed at him more often than not to the point where he just couldn't do anything that made the man happy, not that he bothered really. "Advertising for a church?" His voice was laced in curiosity, or was it confusion? He hadn't been aware that churches needed advertisement. Not that he knew anything about churches. He had been to church a few times over the course of his life - his grandmother had insisted a few times and he couldn't say no to her (and neither could his mother). But he hadn't really known what was going on and he didn't take anything in. "That actually sounds a bit more interesting than what my dad does." Accounting, that wasn't interesting at all in his opinion. Boring boring boring.

He knew that they should have been going through the scripts that the teacher had given them but they had plenty of time to do that before the day that they were supposed to perform in front of the class. Plus getting to know the new kid was a lot more fun on his mind. "It'll be fun, I'll take you to the - uh what do you like to do?" There was fair but of enthusiasm in his voice. He realised that he didn't know that, he couldn't go making plans to make Hayden like New York without first knowing what he liked to do. He didn't know how much time was left in the class, but he knew that before it ended the two of them had to plan to meet outside of class to not only practice and get to know their lines but also to just hang out. Friends were good and he was sure that at this point Hayden didn't have many, of any at all what with being the new kid and all.

tagged - hayden chrystian sherwood // words - 785 // notes - merp.

Every so often, his eyes would glance up at the time on the clock, anxious to leave but too scared to actually get up and leave while in the middle of a conversation. He desperately wanted the conversation to end, to move on to practicing the script, but how did he go about saying that without being rude? His eyes looked back down at the packet, gulping, fingertips brushing across the smooth paper so at least it looked like they were doing something. Hayden hated lying and pretending to work could be considered lying but he couldn't just sit here and stare at the clock because what if the teacher yelled at him? If he got in trouble at school his father would be angry. His whole body actually tensed at the thought of Daddy being mad at him, the hand hovering over the packet trembling subtly before he let it rest, palm down, on top of the packet so that it wouldn't be quite so noticeable. Hopefully Christian wasn't too observant. Hayden hated being asked why he shook so much. There were a few reasons as to why he did but none of them were things he could talk about.

"Don't apologise." The words felt like a kick to the gut and, before he could stop himself, he whimpered softly, ducking his head, body hunching over slightly as the first tear escaped from his eye. He didn't move to wipe it away, just ducking his head more. "I..." Just that one word was all that he said and still his voice shook. It was engraved into him to apologize any time he was bad, any time he did something he wasn't supposed to do, but Christian didn't want him to apologize. He could feel a headache coming on already. "Advertising for a church?" Another question but at least it was about something he was allowed to talk about, though not a topic he was comfortable with. He had started to have doubts about his religion but he didn't dare say that out loud. So he nodded, closing his eyes tightly when the room started to spin around him and he stilled himself, taking a deep breath. "Yes. Um, t-they have... they have social media pages. Like, um. Facebook and stuff. And Daddy is in charge of all of that, they pay him a lot of money. He has to make sure no one is posting bad stuff and he promotes their special events. It's a big church in our area."

A big church that worshipped the Lord but had managed to make his life nothing short of Hell. I only get what I deserve. He'd been told exactly that many times before. He believed it. He was too afraid to question what he had been taught for so long. "That actually sounds a bit more interesting than what my dad does." Hayden barely heard him, forcing his lips to curl into a small smile, eyes blinking open once more, looking up at the clock. How much longer would this take? "It'll be fun, I'll take you to the - uh what do you like to do?" He can't take you anywhere. Tell him no. Refuse.

"I have a horse so I go to the barn every day. If I'm not home or at school, I'm at the barn. I don't go anywhere else. I'm, um," he paused, reluctant to add more, but if he told Christian he wasn't allowed to go anywhere maybe he wouldn't bother trying to take him out. "I'm not allowed to go anywhere else. Just... just the barn."

ooc: outfit
christian oscar lane

A curious look appeared on Christian's face, the new kid was definitely something to feel as such about. He was curious about where he came from, his family, his old friends, everything simply because of the way he reacted to everything. Was he scared or was it something else, there was one way to find out but he was not going to use it because he respected the privacy of others. He was certain that he saw a tear in the other boy's eye and when he whimpered and dropped his head he was certain that he saw it fall. He should say something, right? That was what any other person would do, yeah? But no, he still didn't think that asking about any of this was polite - even though Christian wasn't always the most polite person out there, he had that consideration. But what if Hayden wanted someone to ask about his strangeness, and the maybe tear that Christian had seen? Well that was something this one was not about to find out about. But he did really want to ask. No he wasn't going to.

His eyes widened slightly at the mention of a facebook page that one was paid to update. And not just paid a little, apparently there was a lot of money involved. Now Christian didn't have to worry about money, at least not as long as he was not disowned and hated upon by his father. He had never worked a day in his life and he was okay with that - though sometimes he wondered what it would be like to have a job, to have to make an effort to earn money instead of just asking his father to buy him something, or using the card that he had been given for emergencies (that he used mainly for burgers, fries and cola). "I wish I got paid for updating facebook." He said with a somewhat thoughtful tone in his voice as if he was thinking up a scheme to make little wish a reality. "I suppose he has a hard job there, I can only imagine the things people will say about the church on facebook." He chuckled ever so slightly, people said enough bad things about the church in person and we all know what people can say when they are in the safety of their own home and behind the internet and facebook. People were horrid things.

"Ooohh, you have a horse. Horses are great, not that I have one or know how to ride one but they look like fun and can be gorgeous!" He did like his animals, though not to the point of actually having one of his own. The family had two pet dogs but that was about it - they weren't his but he loved them so. "Not allowed. Parents can't keep you confined to one place -" Or two since he was assumedly allowed to go to school, actually three because the barn. "- that's not right. You don't ever sneak out and go places." Christian did that all the time. In fact he snuck out and took one of the cars - he had been caught once and his dad had gotten pretty mad and had even thrown a lamp at him, if it hadn't been plugged in it may have actually hit him but instead it found the floor. Even so, he still sneaks out and takes the car, maybe he was a little stupid. 

tagged - hayden chrystian sherwood // words - 578 // notes - merp.

He was aware of every little sound that happened in the room, from the ticking of the clock to the laughter of his classmates. This happened sometimes, him becoming hyper aware of his surroundings. Every time it happened, he usually became overwhelmed and had to leave, had to find a nice, quiet place where he could curl up and let the moment pass. The blades helped with that. He always had them with him but he couldn't just reach down into his bag and pull them out in the middle of class, now, could he? Class would end soon, though, and he could escape to the bathroom, just for a minute or two, just enough to be able to calm himself down. He clung to that thought. It was the only thing stopping him from completely going under. He could even stay in the bathroom the whole period, if he had to, because he had lunch next and the cafeteria was probably his least favorite place in the whole school. So much food and noise and so many people. Just a little longer. Keep it together just a little longer.

Thankfully, no more tears escaped his eyes though they remained watery. "I wish I got paid for updating facebook." Hayden didn't. He would hate to have his father's job. He knew most of what he did wasn't good. He used the Bible to justify things that shouldn't be right. But... but it was technically in the Bible, wasn't it? It had to be. Daddy wouldn't lie to him... right? "It's not an easy job," he said, a blush rising to his cheeks once more. "I don't... I don't use Facebook much." You need friends for that, anyway. "I suppose he has a hard job there, I can only imagine the things people will say about the church on facebook." Hayden cringed slightly, nodding in agreement. Their church got a lot of hate. They were often compared to Westboro. It wasn't something that the junior liked to openly talk about. "Y-yeah..." he said, letting the word trail off. Hopefully the topic of church would be dropped.

One thing that Hayden was always willing to talk about was horses, specifically his own horse. "Ooohh, you have a horse. Horses are great, not that I have one or know how to ride one but they look like fun and can be gorgeous!" A giggle escaped him before he could stop it and he lifted a hand to cover his mouth, his cheek reddening more. "Killer is very pretty. I trained her myself with some help from my sister." He sighed, briefly thinking about his sister and how she wasn't allowed in the house anymore. Thankfully, she'd decided to still move here, getting a nice little house of her own. "I can, um, show you a picture of her?" He was allowed to do that, right? Show off his horse? That was allowed? Would Daddy care? Would he get in trouble? He'd shown pictures of Killer before... Maybe he shouldn't have offered.

"Not allowed. Parents can't keep you confined to one place -" The smile quickly faded, body tensing, nearly holding his breath as he waited for Christian to finish his sentence. "- that's not right. You don't ever sneak out and go places." Sneak out?! The thought alone made him shiver. "That's not... that's not good. I have to be good." If there was one thing that Hayden was sure of, it was that he had to be a good boy. He had to make sure Daddy was happy, always happy. Even if that meant he got no happiness of his own.

When the bell rang, he yelped, body jumping and causing him to nearly fall out of his chair. He remained sitting there for a moment, eyes wide, staring down at the packet on his desk, before reaching with shaky hands to shove it into his bag. He could organize his bag later. He just.. he had to leave before Christian could ask any more questions and now he had an excuse to get out, to get away, so he stood, body swaying slightly, unsteady on his feet, and he offered a forced smile to his project partner before rushing toward the door and into the hallway, keeping his head down as he hurried in the direction of the nearest restroom.

ooc: outfit
christian oscar lane