Save Me From Myself (olivia/chevy)

XRIS REID

Was this real? Was he really back? He was not used to being able to sleep ina bed. Actually, the feeling was completely foreign to him and made it hard to sleep. Pillows were a whole other story. Xris would rather sleep on the hard floor mainly just because he was so used to it. He had been held in the military hospital on base for what seemed like forever. When he got back to the states, Xris and the others were so badly malnurished and sick. Everyone was suprised they were even alive. Xris was so skinny and his face was sunk in and not to mention the horrible scars that now littered his body. He looked completely different then he did many years ago. But after a few weeks with real food and medical attention, he began to gain weight back. Of course, he would forever bare the scars which he recieved. A forever reminder of what he went though, not that he didn't have enough to go through to be reminded. When Xris would sleep, if you could even call it sleep, he would wake up from terrible nightmares, sweating and his heart racing and sometimes even screaming. Luckily, the miltary has a new program for veterans returning from overseas that pair them with a canine that is trained to help them through certain things. Atlas has been a life saver that he never thought he would need. The 2 year old black german shephard was his saving grace. He made life just a little bit easier since being back. That little bit made a huge difference in Xris's life. However, he knew soon, he would have to see Olivia, his wife. It had been so long since Xris had seen her and she him. He had been told by his commanding officers that she thinks he is dead. But now that he is back, he knew he would have to face her. It scared him to have to see her after so many years of her thinking he was dead. What would she say? What would she do? Did she wait, hoping he would some day return? Or has she moved on, not wanting to be alone the rest of herlife? Xris wouldn't blame her if she moved on. Sure, he would be heart broken but he would not be mad at her at all for doing what was right for her. It wasn't like she knew he would return. No one knew that he would return. Not even his parents. That was a fun converstaion or lack there of. Xris hadn't spoken to anyone in so long he had become quite a quiet person. He doesn't really say much unless he needs to. He is perfectly fine with sitting by himself in a quite room all alone, that was just something he had grown accustom to. Weird right? It was all normal now. Sitting in the room with family was odd for him. They were so close yet it felt like a dream. His mother wrapped him up in a hug just before he squirmed from her grasp. Such a touch felt almost gross. Physical touch now almost made him feel ....dirty. The doctors told him things like the touch would one day go away after being home for a while and getting used to it again. However, the nightmares and the sensativity to sound and the dark...well....that may never go away. But now he needed out. He couldn't be cooped up in the house anymore with people staring at him wondering if he would explode into some sort of fit of rage. "I need some space." He could tell that tore his mother apart. She had just gotten her son back literally from the dead and now he didn't want to be near any of them. I wanted to go and hug her. He wanted to let her cry on his shoulder, thanking the Lord he was back, but he just couldn't. Not now. Xris just wished they could understand. What he was going through was something he had to figure out on his own as well as with family. But this was just all too much for him at that moment. Xris grabbed Atlas's leash and called for the shephard. He then walked from the house and began walking down the sidewalk. He had on nice jeans that were too big for him and a large baggy hoody that said ARMY with the hood up. He needed to see Olivia. But, what if he walked up to her and she was with another man? Xris didn't know if he would be able to handle it. However his mind was made up. He needed to see her. He looked down at Atlas, a emotionless expression on his face. Xris made his way to her house. She didn't live far from where his parents house was so he just decided to walk, which ended up a poor decision on his part as the sun was beginning to set. Darkness was upon him. He decided to check the apartment that they had bought together to fix up. It was the only place he knew where to look. When he got there, his heart was racing. He was full of mixed emotions due from seeing Olivia again. He began getting afraid of what he might encounter. Atlas was now on the leash and walking close beside Xris, sensing his growing anxiety. Another side effect from such horrible depression and PTSD was the random outbursts of emotion both good and bad. Atlas was there to calm him. So when Xris reached the door to the apartment his heart was beating hard in his chest. He had come all this way, it was too late to back out now. He raised his hand to knock on the door, pausing for a moment and then finally executing. Two soft raps on the door. He looked down at Atlas who was now sitting beside him, alert. Xris's hood was still up so his face was slightly hidden in the shadows. "Oh God please help me."

Olivia wasn’t exactly having the best week, her mother had been bothering her for a few weeks now, trying to set her up again. Seriously, couldn’t they just leave her alone? She wanted to fully mourn her husband. If her friends and family couldn’t accept that she was still grieving for the man that she loved, then she didn’t want them in her life anymore. This whole situations was still ripping her whole world apart. But, her mother couldn’t accept this, she was still trying to fix everything. The man she wanted to set her up with this time was an accountant, he loved children and animals and was supposedly very handsome…. He was twenty-seven, the same age Xris would have been, but he wasn’t looking for anything too serious since he had just gotten a divorce not long ago (so it was kind of the same thing as her mother argued). No, that man had willingly left his wife for whatever reason. He didn’t fight to keep her. He didn’t lose her tragically. To top off the week, her children had been fire-balls and Olivia finally snapped, taking all of her frustrations out on her mother, who had been calling her constantly in the last week to try and set up this date, that had been Wednesday evening. ”Mother, I know you mean well.. but you aren’t helping me.. I miss him okay, no random man is going to help me… you’re not helping me by trying to make me forget about him… I don’t want to date and I swear to god if you don’t stop trying to set me up on dates, then I’m just done… I’m done with you.. with dad.. with anyone else who can’t accept that I’m not ready to move on…” she hadn’t been very tactical about it and hung up on her mother shortly after she exploded. It was thankfully Friday, and she could finally go home and try to relax. What better way to do that than a nice long bubble bath and a glass of wine. By the time she got home from school, she put her bag down, grabbed the leash and took the dog for a quick walk around the block. When they got home, she stripped carelessly to the bathroom and soaked in the steaming hot water until it was cold and her fingers and toes were so pruned from the water they hurt. When she finally dragged herself from the water and dried herself off, she didn’t know what time it was except that it was getting dark. She got dressed in a pair of leggings and one of his old army sweatshirts, it swallowed her up, she had always been a tiny girl, but in recent years, she had lost a bit of weight from everything that had happened. She sat on the couch, pulling a blanket over her and curling herself into a ball. Flynn, her adopted greyhound jumped up on the couch with her, she gave him a sad smile and scratched behind his ears before withdrawing herself back into the warmth of the blanket. She tucked her chin and nose into the sweatshirt, inhaling. She had her favorite shirts of his, that she only washed when absolutely necessary, so they still smelled like him, or maybe it was all in her imagination. She didn’t really care, it comforted her to wear his clothes. She even had his pillow that he used and slept with it every night without fail. She felt too cold, which she knew was crazy since she was covered with the blanket and had the sweatshirt on. She stared blankly at the fireplace mantel, looking at the folded up flag that was now in a specially made triangular memory box, it was a focal point of her living room, the only thing she touched after he was gone. It was a shrine to him, the flag, his army photos, and a few photos of them together, one their wedding day and other important and casual moments of their relationship all tactically hung and laced around the flag. Everything else in the tiny apartment was exactly the way it was when he left. She had promised to wait to do anything until he returned, because she might make the place to feminine as she always teased. But, honestly she just liked the fun they had together. She barely heard the two knocked on the door, as she zoned out, but Flynn was alerted and at the door before she could even push herself off the couch. She wasn’t sure who it could be, she hadn’t ordered food and it was too later for any deliveries that might be coming. Maybe it was the upstairs neighbor, who locked himself out of his apartment constantly, so constantly that he had finally given her an emergency set for those oh too often occasions that he did. As she got to the door she unlocked it, without looking in the peephole, she wasn’t too worried about who it could be. She was startled though, when she opened the door. It was clearly a man standing there, but his hood was pulled up and the shadows engulfed him. She stared at the stranger, she wasn’t sure how long it was, but she realized who she was looking at. This was a dream right? Would she wake up in the bathtub or in her bed, she was too familiar with those dreams. She felt like she couldn’t breathe and her heartrate sped up quickly. She knew she probably looked crazy, her hair was a mess and she wasn’t exactly pulled together, she had no makeup on and she was already prepared for a long weekend locked up in her apartment. Finally the only word she could get out escaped, his name."Xris.” her voice was weak, she was afraid. Her brown eyes were doubtful, this had to be a dream. She cautiously reached her hand up, at a painfully slow pace just to touch him. Knowing, that right before she could she would wake up crying. She could touch him as her fingers barely grazed over his skin, she felt his warm, stubbly cheek under her finger tips and that’s when she lost it. This wasn’t a dream, not at all. Not even a very realistic dream. This was happening. Here he was, standing in front of her. Alive. She let out a quiet, strangled sounding sob as the tears started to roll down her cheeks. Flynn was clearly disturbed by his owner’s actions, he was used to this, but never with another human, it was always out of a nightmare. She quickly pulled her hand away, flinching at her actions, her legs felt like they were going to give out from underneath her. She wanted to hug him, to never let him go but she was afraid. She didn’t understand what was actually happening. ”You’re alive?” it came out as a question, like she still didn’t believe it. She didn’t trust herself to really believe that he was standing in front of her. "They told me you were dead.." she sobbed, trying to cover her mouth, her word were muffled.  1205 words for xris allen reid. outfit,  Flynn

tippy of caution.